It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
