Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
