dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
