I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I party with great urgency now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
