She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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