Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
