Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
