Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
