the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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