It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
