there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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