I just gift wrapped bread.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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