Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
