I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
