I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
