Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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