why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
