Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
