I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Say something about gay babies.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
