Having a random hookup so left but love u
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
