his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
