are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
