I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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