Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I forgot how hot balto sounded
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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