I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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