She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
