I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
