oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
