That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
