We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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