Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
