I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
