Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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