so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
