i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Watching her eat just hurts me
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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