that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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