don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
