Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm like, not good at living.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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