it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
