and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
