Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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