It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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