why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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