so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
