So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
