their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
