Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
