While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
