Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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