it hurts more in the daytime
so let's talk penis.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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